Time Keeps Marching On

I've missed all of you.  I seem to be so consumed with other things lately like selling

and buying.I have been going thru a difficult emotional time for several months. In reality it's probably been more like a year.  The feelings I have I've never experienced before and I am stuggling to figure them out.  At times I haven't been even able to see the light at the end of the tunnel even though I knew that God is at my side I have wanted to end it all.  I've always been a strong and in control person who knew what I wanted and would work at it and make it happen even if other's said I couldnt do it.  

I think the change has happened to my for two reasons-I've passed the dreaded age and seeing my grams in the nursing home and seeing all the other residences.  I know that we only have one chance in this life to make it what we want and I don't want to be sitting in a nursing home saying-why didnt I live my life.  Easier said then done.  

I've been working on clearing out some clutter in my life(both inside and out) and it's taking me longer than I had planned which frustrates me.  I know that God is in control and I do trust him, but I'm finding it hard to be patient with discovering the answers.  

I know there has to be more life and joy out there to experience and I really want that, but can't seem to put all the pieces together. 

I hope to try and visit you all soon.  My energy level has been low and with major changes at work and really trying to sell off extra barns of stuff-I can't seem to even find time for me.  I really appreciate you all and your prayers. God Bless and hope to visit you soon.