I met my husband yesterday afternoon to put our beloved little Buddy to sleep. I didn't think it was right for him to do it alone and I wanted to say goodbye also, so I left work early.
Buddy seemed content and happy when I greeted them in the car. He was sitting so good in the front seat by himself. As we took him in, he continued to wag his little tail.
We talked about his cancer and gave him the first medication to calm him down. Except it worked the opposite for him. He wanted to run around, get out, not sit and relax. I had just been thru this a couple of months ago with my first kitty ever(she was 18 years old) and it had been much easier.
And now, here we were with my first ever dog, doing the same thing. And he didn't want to go. And I didn't want him to go either. He was so good, but I felt wasn't ready for this journey. What could I say? It was already decided and in motion. We were only buying time for the inevitable.
And so they gave him the drug to help him pass over. And we started our goodbyes. The vet said he was gone and left the room. We stayed to say goodbye in private. After several minutes, my husband says -he's still breathing. I knew it in my heart. He didn't want to go and I didn't want him to go either.
We brought the vet back in to check and she had to give him another shot. I leaned down only to find a little tear next to his eye.
I'm so sorry Buddy. I loved you so much and I wanted you to stay. Your brother and sister don't know where you are and I don't know how to explain it to them. Today will start the hard day. The routine of feeding without you. Letting them out and trying not to call your name for you to come back in because you're not there. Petie going to lay on our bed without you(he will be so lost).
When I woke up at 2am, I came to the couch to comfort the little ones, but it was me that they comforted. As Petie watches me cry this morning-does he know? Will they think something will happen to them.
Oh God, help me comfort these little ones and get over this huge loss in my heart as these are my little children and it is so difficult.
Goodbye My Mr. Buddy Boy-you were the best dog that I could have ever asked for and I believe in my heart that God did send you to this home when you showed up here one day almost 10 years ago. We had wanted a dog so bad and you showed me how to love like I had never loved before. I'll be thinking of you in Heaven playing with Miss Kitty and Tater, and Mama, and of course, Bulls-Eye. Have fun until I can join you at the Pearly Gates!